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Mother's Day Message

Precious bundles they were ours
We loved them oh so much
But others had the stronger powers
To steal them from our clutch

Today is Mothers Day
Our hearts are sad and sore
But inside they will always stay
They'll be there evermore

We are Mothers too, you know
We are so proud of that
So, smile and let the love flow
Through the tears and all that

Pick yourself up my friends
We are here for one another
Remember it all depends
On one name and that's MOTHER

Mother's Day brings joy & sadness to many.Some of us have our children with us, or atleast some of our children.Some have lost their children through abortion, miscarriage & custody wars.No matter the outcome we are Mothers none the less.We grieve daily for our losses & deserve to be honored on this day.To the Mother's of children who have passed on, I am amazed by your courage to go on living .To Mother's like myself who lost their child in a custody war.My heart aches with yours.I know your pain.I beleive that life is far from fair& bad things do happen to loving mothers.I believe in time our children will return to us.The guilty can only hide them for so long.

Kenny....Where ever you are MY heart has always been there with you.You have always been in my heart& on my mind. I never forgot you.I still look for you.I love you....

Time to eat of life........

“We have forgotten that our only goal is to live and that we live each day and that at every hour of the day we are reaching our true goal if we are living . . . The days are fruits and our role is to eat them.” - Jean Giono

Wow! I am amazed at how often I take life & nourishment(body & soul) for granted.I whiz through most days in a hurried blur.Hours often tick away as I starve. I eat in a hurry & I live in a hurry marking off my days on the calander as If life will just continue forever & I can slow down at a later date.I read that quote early this morning & it made me very aware of my wastefulness.

Today I felt at one with the Earth. I enjoyed a crisp cold drive into work.I salivated over the smell of fresh roasted coffee beans. I sat down for a lunch of Vegan Soup & chewed ever so slowly savoring every vegetable & giving thanks to the Earth Mother for the blessing.

I spent about 20 minutes this afternoon with the door propped open & slipped my shoes off.The sidewalk was warm & the grit that was covering felt abrasive & rough.I could hear birds chirping & the breeze was glorious.

I came home to a happy husband, though he's exhausted from long shifts all week, but blessed to be in control & the financail gain is a positive move for him & us.He was starting a nap & was surrounded by loving cats to hold him down & whisk him off to dreamland.

Today I ate my fruit & I was blessed.


I breathe in energy.........I breathe out stress....
I breathe in peace..........I breathe out anger...
I breathe in love...........I breathe out hatred..
I breathe in power..........I breathe out weakness.

I close my eyes,I open my heart.
I open my heart,I close my negativity.
I let love wash over me....
I bathe in light & love.

Sunday refelections

Once you merge your path into the stream of thought, spend the days silencing your mind and studying with your whole being, knowing this great cause is not attained from anyone else. It is just a matter of bearing up bravely and strongly, day by day dropping away, like pure gold smelted and refined thousands of times.

On reaching emptiness, there is no difference between noise and quiet. Even when it comes to words, statements, uniqueness, and perspective, you just level them with one measure. Ultimately they have no right or wrong, it's all in how you use them.

The line between both are sharp.

Sister of the Earth

This is a text from a sister site I am blessed to be able to attend....I want to be a better Earth Sister/Wife/Daughter/Mother/Aunt/Niece/Woman/Creator/Mentor/Nurturer/....
In this stage of life I am blessed to be a Crone.I accept my next phase with open heart & arms.With Peace & Grace I move forward.

I want to be a Sister with you.....

1. Fully own our power to create sacred space at every available opportunity. With our selves, with the earth, with each other.
There are many different levels of sacred space, as there are of depth and connection, commitment, gratitude, enthusiasm, and so on. The more we recognize and own our powers and abilities as priestesses, the more we can go about our everyday life creating sacred space and sacred moments of connection with the mundane and even profane realities that surround us. The groundwork for being able to create sacred space is all about knowing and loving ourselves deeply, being so grounded in our connections to all the parts of our selves and to the earth that we always something to give in any interaction be it with a stone, a tree, the lady at the checkout stand, our lovers.... or a dear sister we've been meaning to call, to write, to visit!

We're constantly being handed opportunities to connect with and serve the sacred, as well as to receive the sacrament of wholeness that resides in each of our hearts, albeit sometimes buried under layers of fear and denial. We can keep reminding ourselves, there's something precious here that is of the heart. What is it, and how can we better touch and open and serve it? We need to practice becoming more aware of these opportunities and acting from our hearts, from our guts. Practice honoring our sisters and other beings, while honoring our own truths. Giving as much as possible, while being careful not to let our tendency to give dishonor our spirits in any way.

Practical ways we can create sacred space with our sisters that honors the feminine in particular, even when there's only two of us:
Taking long walks in nature
Savoring beautiful music
Dressing beautifully
Gathering around a fire, or lighting candles
Trading massage
Sharing any form of sweet physical attention such as brushing or braiding hair, hugging,
cuddling, or washing one another's feet with hot water!
Cooking with or for each other, and eating slowly
Checking in on each other's hearts and feelings

2. Share purposeful prayers and goals
What do we really have in common? Let's find out! We need to talk about what our common hopes, dreams, and challenges are so we can give each other support in living our dreams! If we have opportunities to get together, we should make time to address these things, and figure out what we can actually and immediately do to help birth our visions, and make our dreams come true.

3. Challenge ourselves, challenge each other!
We'll always encounter obstacles that seem insurmountable at the time. We can help each other see where there are cracks in the imprisoning walls, ways we can shapeshift our realities with each other's help. Finances, children, unwilling partners? We must not let anything get in the way, and where there's sufficient will there's a way! Let's open ourselves to all the help that's available, avail ourselves of the Earth's active instruction, support and assistance.

4. Honor the land and serve the land, together.
The voice of Spirit is heard best through the land, and women's land-based communities are cropping up all over the place! Become affiliated with one, start your own, or commit to prayer and service together at a special spot in your local park or on a dead-end road. Create altars, songs and dances inspired by the sprits and beings of these particular places. We can find out about native and invader species in our bioregions, and by spending a little time every day actively healing the land, we contribute to our own healing as well!

5. Honor each other as teachers.
What are we learning from each other? We can honor those lessons and gifts, by remembering them and putting them into visible practice. And we need to give our sisters all the credit they deserve for all their efforts or accomplishments, for every way they've served as an example or inspired us. And we must be sure to tell them so!

6. Be an inspiration to our sisters in every way we can
Make the time to get to know every aspect of our selves, and to love and be true to that self. To be with Nature, and receive her knowledge through our focused presence. Enjoined.

7. Don't take each other for granted
Show as much appreciation of each other as we possibly can at all times, even if it means getting up an hour early to make it happen! Especially when a sister has gone out of her way to make time to serve us in some way in the midst of her own busy life!

8. Communicate our hurts, and be equally willing to apologize and forgive
It only weakens our relationships, if we keep things bottled up or swept up under the rug. Sisters must be able to be honest about what offends them, to admit where they've gone wrong and make efforts to right those wrongs, and for any wronged party to acknowledge these efforts and make the effort to forgive.

9. Don't be lame
We shouldn't be slackers when it comes to our sisterhood! If we've promised someone we'll write or call them, or do them a favor, we need to avoid making excuses and just do it!

10. Share the work as well as the play
Instead of thinking we're too busy to gather with our sisters, we can invite them over to help out with mundane tasks. We'll have a lot more fun and probably get a lot more accomplished if we do our chores together! If mothers have children that make focusing on things like sewing or home repairs difficult, they can come together to take turns getting things done and giving the kids attention!

11. Resist the urge to compete, or to compare
Bodies, jobs, boyfriends, partners, children-- we women have a bad habit of endlessly sizing each other up and figuring we are the lesser or greater in any given situation. How about accepting that we are all special and beautiful, with our own unique contribution? If we think we have a "funny-looking nose," imagine being able to love its uniqueness so much that we teach our sister how to love her chubby belly!

12. Bring the Sister Tribe together
We need to own our power to make new connections happen-- by posting flyers for each other, sending out the pertinent emails you get to every woman on your list, staying alert to great opportunities and available connections that might not be timely for us but perfect for a beloved sister. We can take responsibility and help create major transformations in our sister's lives!

13. Practice giveaway-- gifts that make a difference
We all have things in our households that don't get enough attention, or that could be useful, or even serve as tools of deep magic and connection for a certain sister of ours. We can give from our own "things" that we intuit will be meaningful and purposeful in the hands of our sisters, such as fabric we're not using, candles that will remind our sister of the loving glow we feel when we're together, gifts of food from our pantries.... anything real, beautiful and nurturing could be a good thing to pass along. We can bring to our gatherings the clothes or jewelry we don't wear enough, bottles of condiments, or lotions we've made. And of all the many possible gifts, the most powerful of all are the drawings, weavings and poems that touch a sister's heart, invoking each other's presence in our everyday lives.

14. Teach the children together
Mothers all over the world are joining together to home-school their children! And even the kids that go to public school can come together afterwards or on weekends to learn how to cook, draw, knit, sew, dance, do yoga, sing prayers to the trees, and so forth. Sisters can inspire their kids to discuss essential subjects together like the importance of loving ourselves, the benefits and challenges of being whatever age they are, their goals, prayers, dreams, and feelings about what is God or Goddess.

I can feel it, this Sister Tribe.... purposeful hearts weaving, reaching out to each other to join hands across the lands, and across the seas. Touching each other in our most vulnerable places, like a river we're blessed to submerge in, touching us everywhere at once. In my most challenging of times I hear my sister's voices, as I hear the spirits of the ancestors that inhabit this sacred canyon. They whisper in my ear, reminding me to bend down low to the ground, to notice the glowing stone and the magnificence of the spider, to slow down and thank the first flame as I light my woodstove fire. They join me in this magic purpose of reconnection, this dance of deep feeling and delight. Together we feed the fires of our connection, joining the shining land in celebration of our mission: our common tribal song.


Today I feel the postive power within me.....
"Everything on this beautiful planet is in some way connected to the umbilical cord of Mother Gaia's womb." I forgot how simple yet complex it really is.I forget that God/Goddess are always here, always watching....yearning for us to line up & take notice.

Meditation(prayer) is more focused when we remember our place as planet child & STOP! trying to be god/goddess'...... We are not in control of anything that wasn't put before us, yet we take on way more than is our business....I have fallen victim to gossip & backbiting so many times from forgetting my place in the planet.

Tonight I was blessed with a chance to make ammends with someone that has been on my heart. There is nothing as uplifting as a chance to fix a wrong done.

So tonight I bathe in meditative beauty & remember my place.

Aware of my body I breathe in.... Smiling at my body I breathe out....
Accepting my body I breathe in...Smiling with acceptance I breathe out....
Respecting my body I breathe in....Smiling with respect I breathe out....
Loving my body I breathe in...Smiling with love I breathe out...
Living in my body I breathe in...Smiling with life I breathe out...
Knowing that God/Goddess loves me I breathe in....Smiling to God/Goddess I breathe out....
Tonight I feel at peace. May my dreams be filled with visions of an expansive universe.....

Busy day....

Today is a busy day.I woke up exhausted mentally & physically.I need to let go of the stress I am carrying.I hope that today goes well for Jeff.After all it affects us too.I need to make time to relax & be with the boys & the cats. Anthony is in so much pain emotionally, first breakup is so hard on the heart.It doesn't get any easier but that is a lesson I will let him learn as time goes by.

Today I am off to the gym I need a strong work out, I need to use my muscles, I feel so tense & tight. And cardio is relaxing. I know that sounds odd, but it is the one time of my day that silence & meditation comes so easily.

My son turned 19 this week. I wonder how he is? What kind of man he is becoming?And if he yearns for me the way I yearn for him? I try not to dwell long in the things I can not control. Instead I take that energy & bounce it back out there covering him with love & protection & peace.Silently awaiting MY time with him.Funny how man can warp & distort life to the point that he suffers even greater.My present life was disrupted, but his karma will forver be changed because of his actions.My ex will never know the pain he has caused me except through his own pain and karma has a way of teaching that lesson .

I guess that is why I have been reading as much as I can about karma, faith (all faiths), love & peace ( inner & world).I know that my constant tough exterior has caused many pain, myself included. Change is hard but necessary. I feel as dormant as a garden bulb in late spring, waiting, wondering, becoming a beautiful flower.

So today I ask that all the earth's energy to wash over me & restore me.
I need peace, I crave cleansing, I desire love, I wait.... I hope.... I submit...

Long cold day....

Spring has come yet it is as cold & crisp as a fall day. Winter still seems to be hanging on for dear life.As much as I long for the warmth of spring, I do regret the passing of winter. I love the cold, it reminds me of how blessed I am to have a safe warm house.It reminds me to think of & meditate about life changes for those less fortunate.I have always been blessed with the ability to land on my feet & have never had to worry about shelter & warmth.
Today was orientation for new clients & I watched several people come in.....Cold, dirty, hungry, scared, untrusting, hurting & angry. It was a humbling experience . I struggle with anger & work daily at trying to be thankful....I watched this one addict couple that was there to see about getting onto the program .

He was kind to her & shared what little money they had & made sure that her food needs were met before he bought himself anything. And I am sure he was equally as hungry. That is love.

To watch 2 people who obviously have less than most of us be thankful for what they have. I learned alot from watching them.
I was able to give give them more food for their money & even at a discounted price I gave them change.This dirty , tired, hungry man put the change into my tip cup.And smiled & told me to have a great day.
I will never forget that blessing. It was the most important tip of my lifetime.
In all things be kind, loving & do no harm...


I often wonder why everything has to come full circle? Why can't some situations just be dead-ended?
Why can't some answers just be final.
Why does everything have to come full circle. Can't happiness just be happiness?
Why can't somethings just be what they are, when they are & why they are?
I guess I am questioning karmic cycles alot these days & wondering how many lives deep one must travel to see a true karmic shift?
Can our destiny truly shape our next life? Or are we just stuck in a cycle of continual rebirth into this cycle until we get it right? And if so..... How can I shift my path towards something deeper without changing my destiny?



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May 2005


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